I don't know why but I was extremely frustrated last night - with everything and everyone. Nothing seemed to be going right and on top of it all Ethan was super fussy from teething. I think it all just got to me and I started being short with everyone which is usually not like me at all. I am never impatient with Garrison but I was VERY impatient last night. I started feeling really bad around the time he went to bed. I told myself that tomorrow is a new day and I will start fresh in the morning. As I was telling him goodnight he hugged me extra tight and said, "You will ALWAYS be my Mommy and I love you very much!" I was so undeserving of that but he somehow knew I needed it. I hugged him extra tight and told him he would always be my "baby". Those are the kind of moments that make all of the frustration and mommy exhaustion completely worthwhile.
I am so guilty of not reading my bible very often. I seem to only crack it open when I am struggling with something and want God to give me answers. And He always does. I don't know why it still surprises me that I open the huge book to the exact page and exact scripture He wants me to hear. Last night was no different. This is the first scripture I read:
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love." ~Romans 8:38
I have heard this verse many times but it really resonated within me last night for some reason. The word "nothing" is so powerful. It doesn't go on to say, "except for...". It simply says "nothing". We have to remember that nothing we have done or will ever do will separate us from His love. He doesn't push us to the side or love us any less for mistakes we have made. Talk about unconditional love.
I think about the love I have for my boys. I know that there is no way I could ever stop loving them, no matter what. I am fully aware that God allowed me to be a mother so I could experience that kind of love. And then I have to remember that God's love for us (all of us) is even greater than the love I have for my boys. I cannot fathom a love greater than that of a mother but I don't try to understand it. I just accept it. And I remind myself that nothing will ever separate me from His love.