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Sunday, January 4, 2015

Joy

I sit here tonight filled with sadness, grief and a sense of deep loss.  We lost my Grandmama today. 

God's love and light shined through her and around her like none I have ever seen.  Ever.  She was a woman full of life, laughter, love and joy.  Her joy was contagious.  It literally spilled out of her and flowed onto everyone in her presence.  The impact she had on her children, their spouses, grandchildren, their spouses, great grandchildren and countless others has been life changing.

I remembered writing a post about Grandmama a couple years back and I re-read that tonight.  Here is a link to the post.  I found myself tearing up, nodding in agreement and selfishly wishing so badly for just one more glimpse of her wisdom tonight.  I keep finding myself wanting just one more of so many things from her.  One more detail from that dream where God revealed something to her.  One more of those beautiful hand painted Santas she gave me every year.  One more I love you.  One more You're my favorite Juliana.

If I had to pick one thing I admired most about Grandmama it would be her unrelenting faith.  She was constantly in prayer and in the presence of God seeking wisdom and discernment.  The evening she went into the hospital I found Ethan with a box she had painted.  My grandmamma was an incredibly talented painter and she loved painting boxes, rocks, anything that could be painted really.  I had this particular box on one of the higher shelves of my china cabinet because it held some sentimental items.  Ethan opened it and pulled out a rock.  It was a rock Grandmama had given me a while back and the message on it was simple.  It said Pray.  So I did.  And I was filled with an incredible sense of joy and peace.  I knew at that moment her time on this earth would not last much longer.  But this rock and its message was and will continue to be a constant reminder to me that I need to remain in prayer and in God's presence.  I am so thankful to her for this reminder.

I went to my parents' house this evening to be with family for a while and right before I got there I heard the song Glorious Day by Casting Crowns on the radio ( http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=FBME01NU ).  It was truly the picture I needed to see to remember the absolute joy Grandmama would have experienced today when she finally got to see Jesus face to face.

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One bringing
My Savior Jesus is mine


Ethan's Adoption Day 

My sister took this picture of Grandmama with our kids just earlier this week. 
I will treasure this always. 
 

 
Thank you Jesus for allowing me to know and love this wonderful creation of yours.
Please help me to have the servant's heart, grace, love, joy, forgiveness, compassion, selflessness and steadfast faith this beautiful woman had.
 
 
"It is His joy that remains in us that makes our joy full."  ~A.B. Simpson