Senior Series: Letting Go

You will be heading off to college in less than 4 months.  I have had a bittersweet mix of emotions for the last 18 years knowing this day would come.  To be a parent is to love your kids so much that you prepare them for all that is to come.  You love them so much that you have to have boundaries, rules and discipline.  You love them so much that you can't give them everything they want, even when you want to or you think they deserve it.  And the hardest part is you love them so much that you have to let them go, so they can be who God created them to be.  

You have turned into an incredible young man and we give all the glory to God.  I know you will succeed in anything and everything you put your mind to.  I hope you believe that.  My prayer is that you never forget the One who gave you this life and who is responsible for all of your gifts and success.  He will be there with you every step of the way, even when we are not physically with you.  (And you know we will be in that car or on a plane in a second if you ever need us, whether you are up the street or 1,000 miles away.)  

I was reading in Grandmama's Daily Light book the other day and came across a page titled, "Relocation".  It has scripture all around this theme and I wanted to share it with you because it's so good.

My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.

Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Or where can I flee from your presence?  If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.  If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.  He found him in a desert land and in the wasteland, a howling wilderness.  He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of His eye.  As an eagle stirs up its nest, hovers over its young, spreading out its wings, taking them up, carrying them on its wings, so the Lord alone led him.  THE LORD IS THERE.  Now give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may go out and come in.  And He led them forth by the right way.  "In this place I will give peace," says the Lord of hosts.  Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Exod. 33:14; Ps.139:7-10; Deut. 32:10-12; Ezek. 48:35; 2 Chron. 1:10; Ps. 107:7; Hag. 2:9; Josh 1:9

Cheers to you!  We love you, always.

Senior Series: Only Jesus

 I remember hearing this Casting Crowns song for the first time and it was like they had seen into my soul.  The song is called, "Only Jesus".  Here is the chorus and the bridge:

And I, I don't want to leave a legacy

I don't care if they remember me
Only Jesus
And I, I've only got one life to live
I'll let every second point to Him
Only Jesus

All the kingdoms built, all the trophies won
Will crumble into dust when it's said and done
'Cause all that really matters
Did I live the truth to the ones I love
Was my life the proof that there is only One
Whose name will last forever

I had so many big goals as a mom:

-Help them fulfill their dreams, no matter how many practices or games you have to drive them to

-Keep things light and keep them laughing

-Give them memories they will treasure always, including awesome vacations

-Create a healthy balance of discipline and unconditional love

-Teach them to be kind and humble

By no means have I been a perfect mom.  I have made a lot of mistakes, but I have always loved you with every fiber of my being.  And my ultimate goal has always been that you will truly know Jesus and have a relationship with Him.

You have already experienced the loss of a grandparent. I know how hard that has been and I wish I could tell you the grief of that loss will ease over time, but it may not.  And you will lose more incredible grandparents.  One day you will lose Dad and me.  You will experience so much loss in this world and that is exactly why I pray you will never lose your faith and your love for Jesus.  He has the ability to heal every hurt, catch every tear, comfort every minute of loneliness, and to bring hope to the hopeless. 

I remember being in the hospital with your brother when we weren't sure if he would even make it through.  If I'm being honest, I was angry with God during that time.  Why would He have given us this amazing gift only to potentially take that gift away?  It was at that moment, when I surrendered all to God, that I realized He entrusted me and Dad with you and your brother.  And I realize He loves both of you FAR more than I could ever even be capable of loving.  That is unfathomable because I would literally give my life for both of you.  One day you will realize what an incredible honor and gift it is to be a parent and just how potent that love is.  If you hear nothing else from me, hear this - He is EVERYTHING, Garrison.  He will always be there for you and He will NEVER ever fail you.

I love you.  And He loves you even more.

"We love because He first loved us." -1 John 4:19

"My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock and my refuge." -Psalm 62:7

 

Senior Series: Raising a Husband

I know this sounds weird, but since you've been a little boy I have had to remind myself that I am raising a husband, not a boy.  Let me explain.  You know I absolutely love serving my family.  I love to cook for y'all, serve y'all dinner, and shower y'all with love and affection.  With you and your brother I often have to stop myself and remember I am raising husbands, not little boys.  So, do I want to raise my sons (future husbands) who expect their wife to cook them dinner, serve them dinner, and constantly shower them with love and affection after a long day at work or a long day with the kids?  Nope.  So, I have always tried to show you how to be a man who thinks of others first and does not take the generosity of others for granted.

Funny story...I remember when you were about 7 years old.  I was SO tired of going in your bathroom and smelling pee.  (I still do not understand why it was so hard for you to pee in the toilet and not on the floor, walls, shower curtain, wherever else you were peeing.)  I finally decided to teach you one of those important life lessons and make you start mopping your bathroom floor.  Welp, that back-fired.  You grabbed that mop and started mopping away.  As I stood there leaning against the bathroom door with my arms folded you turned and looked at me with a huge smile.  "This is fun!  Can I do another room next?"  You always had a way of surprising me, kid.  I mean, what in the world?! 

I know I've been talking about your future role as a husband, but I hope you will remember what I have taught you about future girlfriends/wives.  Mean girls and drama mamas have no place in your world.  I pray you will find your best friend to live your life with - while she won't be perfect (none of us are), I hope you will find someone who loves you unconditionally, who nurtures and cares for your family, who puts Jesus first, and who you can laugh with every day (even when you're fighting).  

Your dad and I have tried to keep a sense of humor alive and active in the family.  I know things haven't always been "peachy keen jelly bean" but I hope you remember all the amazing times we've shared as a family, full of laughter.  Life is way too serious as it is.  One of the things I love most about you is your ability to be goofy.  I remember when you used to pose as a mannequin at Old Navy.  Every time we would go in there you would pose with your fellow mannequins.  I felt like I was watching Candid Camera when people would come in and try to figure out if you were real or not.  It still cracks me up to this day when I think about it.  (You better believe I have photo proof of this below.)  I love your easy going nature where you allow me to poke fun at you, and you at me.  Don't ever lose that quality.  

You have always, always, always been so good about being appreciative of all I do for you.  I want to tell you right here that has not gone unnoticed for the last 18 years.  Seriously.  You have always made me feel so loved and appreciated.  I don't know how many moms can say that of their 18 year-old sons, but I am grateful to be one of them.  And you always seem to know just when I need one of those amazing Garrison hugs - the ones that have changed from me comforting you into you comforting me.  I will continue to look forward to those hugs for the rest of my life.

I love you.

Senior Series: Childlike Faith

I vividly remember how grief stricken I was after Grandmama passed away.  She was a rock.  She was a light in this dark world.  She was full of unconditional love, grace, and an unshakeable faith.  As you know, she passed right around the time Ethan was in the hospital multiple times with a serious case of pneumonia.  (I have no doubt she prayed fervently for him up until she went to meet Jesus face to face.  And I have no doubt God answered all of our prayers when He performed a healing on your brother that the doctors could only describe as "a miracle".)  

One day shortly after Grandmama passed, you and I were driving to Grammy and Papa's house, alone in the car.  I was very silent, just thinking back on memories with Grandmama.  Out of nowhere you said to me, "Mama, I wonder if Grandmama helped God paint that beautiful sky for us to see today."  You knew her gift of painting, a self-taught gift that she did not share with many, even when she should have.  I looked at the sky.  The beautiful sky that I did not even notice until that moment.  And my heart stopped.  In the midst of my overwhelming grief you reminded me what was most important.  As much as I selfishly wanted her here, Grandmama was no longer with us.  She was with Jesus, where she belonged.  You may not even remember that day, Garrison.  But in that moment you taught me the importance of a child like faith.  

Trust me when I say we can get so bogged down in the day to day of life.  As you get older the pressures of life will naturally increase.  But that doesn't mean our faith has to decrease.  My prayer is that you always have the childlike faith you showed me that day in the car.  I pray that when you have troubles in life (and there will be many, as there are for all of us) that you will look to the One who created you.  I pray that you will cast all of your fears, burdens, and anxieties on him and have the childlike faith (TRUST) that He will carry you through.  Because He will.  Every.single.time!

I love you.

"And He said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:3

"When  Jessus saw this, He was indignant.  He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." - Mark 10:14