Thursday, February 28, 2013

I Wish I Was a Guy and Pencil Full of Lead

Guys really do have it so easy, don't they?!  There are times when I think it would be so nice to be a guy for a day.  Here are some reasons why:

  1. You can pee anywhere.
  2. All you have to do is hold a door open for a lady to be rewarded by a smile and a comment like, "You're such a gentleman".  It doesn't matter that you turn around and grab your junk and burp right after that. 
  3. Your friends don't look at you weird when you fart or burp.
  4. You can get out of anything by embarrassing your spouse.  Don't want to shop anymore?  Just embarrass her and  you'll be out of there in 10 seconds flat.
  5. Your kids listen to what you tell them to do - the first time. 
  6. You can poop with the door open and no one says a word.
  7. You can fart in front of your wife and still get sex that night.
  8. You come home dirty so your wife assumes you had a really hard day.  That alone is your excuse to sit on the couch all night long...all.night.long!  Oh, is this just my husband?!
  9. You can fake gag so you never have to change a diaper again.
  10. You can stack things up in the trash can so high that your wife gets tired of rearranging the trash and just takes it out herself.
  11. You never have to go through childbirth - that should be reason enough!
  12. When you get a cold you get away with acting like you are dying of some terminal illness.
  13. When you cuss nobody calls you ungentlemanly.
  14. You require absolutely no warming up before funky time with the wifey.  Then again, why would you?  If I got to relax all night on the couch I wouldn't need warming up either. 
  15. Football season, baseball season, hockey season, basketball season - there is always a freakn' sports season and another excuse for you to be in front of the t.v.
  16. No ability whatsoever to multi task (you know, cooking dinner with a screaming baby on one hip and a "Mom, look at me, look at me, mom, mom, look at me!" in your ear while the t.v. is blaring in the living room and you are tripping over the dogs who want to be fed) = very little responsibility at home.   
  17. You are considered a hero to your kid with one simple question, "Want to play catch?".
  18. You are considered a hero to your wife with one simple statement, "Let's order pizza tonight!".
  19. You could lose 10 lbs in a week if you cut back on beer.  You could eat anything and everything in sight and still lose weight.
  20. When you don't shave you get called sexy.  When I don't shave... well, let's just say it ain't pretty!

These are meant to be taken lightly.  I obviously love being a woman, including a busy mom and wife.  I just sometimes look at the hubbs and think it sure would be nice.  Then again, you can bet your ass I would never want to trade my day job for his.  :)

Pencil Full of Lead

I promise this song is in no way related to the discussion above.  That would just be shameful! ;)

If you need a good pick me up song today check this one out.  I thought I had posted it on my blog before but I can't find it.  My mom introduced me to Paolo Nutini's music a few years back.  He is a Scottish singer/songwriter and he is amazing!  This is one of their more upbeat songs and it always puts me in a good mood!  We were lucky enough to see them at House of Blues a couple years ago and I would give anything to see them live again.

Tell me you aren't shaking your groove thing in front of all your co-workers right now.  Or at the very least tapping your foot?! ;)


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