When Garrett and I were first married I constantly found myself comparing him to my dad. In my mind, no one would ever measure up to the man my dad was. And it took me a long time to realize that Garrett is his own man. He has an entirely different set of God given qualities and he would never be the same as my dad or any other person for that matter. Until I stopped comparing Garrett to others I couldn't appreciate the man God made ~ my husband and best friend. When Garrett and I were going through difficult times in our marriage I also realized that I coudn't fix him or handle it on my own. This is where it was important for me to recognize that I had to turn to my first priority (God) to solidify my relationship with my second priority (Garrett).
It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized the importance of making God the first priority in my life. It wasn't always fun to put Him first. It wasn't always self satisfying to put Him first. But my outlook on life and relationships has drastically improved since I have done so.
As a mom I understand how hard it is to put anyone above your children. Saying your husband is a higher priority than your children does not mean you love your husband more. Those of you who are wives and moms know you have a very different kind of love for your spouse than your children.
I want to try and explain it this way. Let's say that you put all of your time, energy and focus into your children while they are young and at home. Their life is your whole life. Their worries are your worries. Their fears are your fears. Their friends are your friends (I hope you see how unhealthy that one can be). What happens when your kid becomes a better friend to you than your spouse? I can think of a few things - the two of you will have secrets from your spouse, you will be their advocate and your spouse's enemy. Does that make sense? If you know me you know that I have an ubreakable bond with my boys so I am certainly not saying to not put any time or effort into your relationship with your kids. I just think the most important thing for a child is to have parents who are a united team. I am certain that Garrett and I will have to compromise on many issues while rasing our boys, but the important thing is that we are always united.
I realize there are extreme exceptions here like abuse in the home and in that case you would obviously take your child's best interest into account.
God, Spouse, Children, Everyone Else ~ By following this order for priorities in my relationships I have actually strengthened each realtionship and my life is the better because of it.
I am still eating healthy (with the exception of one cheat meal each week). Saturday I made Garrett quesadillas for lunch and I literally just threw a bunch of stuff together. The great thing about quesadillas is you don't have to follow a certain recipe and it's super easy!
1-2 tablespoons butter
2 Tortillas (the life balance onces are healthier and just as good)
- Bake or grill your choice of meat.
- I like to sautee anything that would need to be softened in olive oil or butter (i.e. peppers, onions).
- Put 1 T butter in a sautee pan and one tortilla. Load everything on the tortilla and top with the other one.
- Push down on the top tortilla with a spatula while grilling to press everything together.
- Flip it over and slide 1 T of butter under the other tortilla to prevent burning.
Great...now I'm hungry!