Monday, March 4, 2013

Wife Secrets

After being married for 10 years I have had quite a bit of time to get to know my husband.  I wouldn't say that I take advantage of that but... oh, who am I kidding?  You bet your ass I take advantage.  Here are some examples. 

My husband is a very stubborn man.  Once he gets his mind set on something he will follow through until the job is done.  If you challenge him he will stand up to the challenge.  So, it only makes sense to use this in my favor.  If I need something fixed I will say something like, "We need to buy a new (insert whatever it is).  There is no way we can fix this."  Off to work he goes!  And it is typically fixed that same day.  (My mom has also learned this tactic with him and used to her advantage as well.)

If I really want to get out of cooking dinner I will strategically place a snack he can't resist on the counter.  He will start snacking away and by the time dinner rolls around...surprise, surprise he's not hungry anymore.

If I buy a new shirt, purse, shoes, whatever (which is pretty rare I must admit) I take the tag off and immediately put it in my closet.  When he actually notices I'm in something new and says, "Is that new?" I give him a "yeah right" look and tell him I've had it for two years and thanks for noticing! Haha!

Have you ever seen those pillows that are supposed to hint to your spouse whether you are in the mood that night or not?  They look like this.

After ten years of marriage you don't need stinkin' pillows.  You just need sweats pants. 


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