Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Raising a Husband?

I bet you thought this was going to be about raising my child-like husband but it's not. 

I have been thinking a lot lately about what kind of men my boys will become.  Garrison is seven now and I realize that is still young, but he is getting to that stage where:
  • I am not always the coolest person in the room (shocker, I know).
  • He will still hug me goodbye and say I love you but sometimes it's a sideways hug and sometimes it's a mumbled I love you.
  • He argues with EVERYTHING I say, no matter what.  (I am convinced he gets this from his dad.)
  • He is really into girls... Lord, help me!

This is why I treasure the out of nowhere "I love you's", the really tight hugs, the freshly picked weeds (I mean flowers) and the rare kisses.

Bear with me for a minute while I talk through this.  I think us moms often try so hard to raise boys that meet our needs.  We try to raise boys that will cuddle with us.  We try to raise boys that are extra sweet and helpful.  What I have realized is that as my boys get older my focus needs to shift from raising a boy to raising a man.  I need to raise a man who will one day make an incredible husband and father.  Affection and love are extremely important things to show our sons.  I'm just saying there is so much more I need to teach them to prepare them for life.

Here are some examples of the things I want to teach Ethan and Garrison.  I should post these on my mirror as a reminder every day.

  1. I will him about Jesus.  He will only get so far in life without Jesus.  He will always be searching for happiness if he doesn't know Jesus.
  2. I will teach him trust.  I want him to understand what giving your word means and I want him to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
  3. I will teach him tolerance.  I want him to love everyone, even if he doesn't agree with them.
  4. I will teach him commitment.  I want him to understand how very important it is to be committed to his wife and children.
  5. I will teach him honesty.  I want him to always be honest in everything he does and with everyone he comes in contact with.
  6. I will teach him confidence.  I want him to have confidence in himself and his ability to make a difference in this world.
  7. I will teach him humor.  I want him to be able to laugh at himself and life in general.
  8. I will teach him respect.  I want him to be respectful to everyone in this world, especially women and most importantly his wife.  I also want him to understand how important it is that his wife respects him.
  9. I will teach him generosity.  I want him to be generous with his heart, his time and his finances.
  10. I will teach him unconditional love, hopefully by example.  I want him to unconditionally love his family, friends and strangers.

The point is that I only have the privilege of being the most important woman in these boys lives for somewhere around 18 years.  I want to use it wisely.  I want to prepare them to be the best husbands and fathers they can be.  After all, it is their wives, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren that will benefit the most from the wonderful men I know they will turn out to be.


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