Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Choices in Marriage

As a wife I have so many choices I can make on a day to day basis relating to my husband.  And this sudden realization is what prompted this post.

The other night Garrett came to bed late after watching the Rangers game.  I had JUST fallen asleep when he busted into the room making all kinds of noise.  I truly don't think he was intentionally being an ass or trying to wake me up but that's definitely what it felt like.  I tried to roll over and go back to sleep when all of a sudden I hear this loud crunching and popping.  He was drinking from his water bed...two inches from my head.  And not just drinking but draining the plastic bottle and letting it crunch and squeak and make all kinds of noises.  He then proceeds to squish it up into a ball.  Why?  I don't know.  I so badly wanted to reach over, yank that water bottle from his hand and chunk it across the room.  But instead I chose to ignore him and go to sleep.

This is kind of a ridiculous example of one of the choices I can make on a daily basis  but isn't that what marriage is about?!  After being married so long it's not necessarily the big life issues that you always fight about.  It's those little annoying habits that the other person does that makes you feel like you're going completely insane.

There are other issues in a marriage though that I know people have a hard time dealing with and one of those is money.  Garrett rarely goes out and spends money without talking to me about it first.  But there have been times where he will drop by the liquor store and pickup a $50 bottle of scotch when we are tight on money.  It infuriates me.  I can choose to go out and spend $50 on myself to "get him back" or I can choose to have a calm discussion with him that we are tight on money and move on about my day.  Trying to get him back in that way would only end up stressing me out more anyways.

We have choices we can make every day in our marriage.  Some big, some small.  I am a planner, and therefore a worrier, by nature.  I like to fix things and make everything right and everyone happy.  It has taken me a long time to learn that I can't fix Garrett.  I married him for who he is.  If I want him to change I have two choices: I can nag him until he changes (which will likely make him resent me and never want to make him change) or I can pray that God changes Him in His own way in His own time.  I have practiced the latter for the last several years and it has proven to be a much wiser choice.

Marriage is not easy.  But we have choices we can make on a daily basis, some big and some small.  These choices can determine the outcome of our marriage, our family's happiness and if we're all being honest - our own sanity! :)  And to end on a funny note...


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