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Thursday, May 2, 2013

You're Gonna' Miss This!

I will be turning 30 in fifteen days!  A lot of people I know have turned 30 recently and the range of their feelings about this has been so interesting.  Some are excited to see what this decade will hold.  Some are depressed and don't want to think about it.  Some are ready to make complete life changes because it's a "big milestone".  Me?  I'm just kind of, eh, about it.  It really is just a number to me.  Am I going to change that much in one day just because I went from my 20's to my 30's?!  It would be kind of funny if I woke up with my tattoo all stretched out and a body that is a far cry from the way it looked in my early 20's.  Oh wait...that already happened.

One of my all time favorite songs is Trace Atkins', "You're Gonna' Miss This".  You have to watch the video me!

Even though 30 is still young there are moments I already miss ~ sitting in my Daddy's lap and laying my head on his chest ~ having my mom brush my hair and rub my back ~ the freedom of getting in my car all alone and taking a drive with the windows down and the radio up ~ the excitement of getting married and the unknown of what is to come ~ being pregnant ~ holding my first baby for the first time ~ holding what will probably be my last baby for the first time ~ those middle of the night feedings that were so peaceful (even though I was incredibly sleep deprived) ~ hearing "Mama" for the very first time from both of my boys.

In the midst of my chaotic life I have to remind myself that I AM gonna' miss this.  Sometimes on nights where Ethan is screaming, the dogs are barking, Garrison is asking me for the hundredth time to "watch this" and Garrett is walking through the kitchen just to slap me on the ass I have to sit back and soak in that scene.  I realize I may be stressed up to my eyeballs in that moment but I know, without a doubt, that there will be days 20 years from now where I really will miss the chaos of my crazy, beautiful life right now.

So, how do I feel about turning 30?  I think it's all a matter of perspective.  I look at turning 30 as such a blessing.  I am blessed to have had 30 years on this earth with such an incredible family.  I am blessed to have some of the same friends I have had since the age of ten.  I am blessed to have had almost 15 years with my husband (even though he has probably contributed to some of my aging).  I am blessed to have had a healthy pregnancy and the experience of carrying a child.  I am blessed to have had the opportunity and gift of adoption in my life. 

Instead of cringing at each passing year I choose to look at each birthday as an opportunity.  I want to see it as one more year to make some memories.  One more year to make a difference in this world, no matter how small.  I may not embrace the wrinkles and stretch marks but I will embrace each new day and thank God for just a little more time here.  And I will certainly have a lot more "sit back and soak this in" moments because I know how much I will miss it!



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