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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Dating Your Spouse

There are so many articles out there about how to date your spouse.  I don't think we need to know how to date our spouses though.  I think it's more important to know why.  And to keep in mind that our goal should not be to change our spouse but to remember why we married them in the first place.

I have been married for 11 years and I know it is incredibly easy to get caught up in the chaos of every day life - work, kids, sports, finances, church, friends.  You feel like you are pulled in so many directions and a lot of times I think we put our spouse on the backburner.  We "see" them all the time since we live with them so why do we need to set aside special time for them? 

I have come to learn that the more effort Garrett and I put into setting time aside for just each other the closer we become.  A date night or a weekend getaway can do wonders for your marriage.  A family date night does not count as a date night.  I'm not saying family time isn't important or that you can't find sweet moments with your spouse when you are with your family but when conversations and events revolve around the kids how are you really spending quality, intimate time with your spouse?

Our pastor said something a couple months ago at church that really stuck with me.  We tend to make excuses for not having date nights - no time and no money being the biggest two excuses.  Yet we find time for our kids to play sports (among many other things) and have no problem shelling out hundreds of dollars for the team fee and equipment.  That really  hit close to home. 

I realize we only have 18 years (some of you might be laughing at me as your 30 year old son sits on the couch watching TV next to you right now) with our kids and that we need to give them our best.  But that doesn't mean we need to give them our all.  I don't want my husband to have a completely drained (physically, mentally, emotionally) wife.  In 16 years when we are empty nesters I don't want to look at my husband in awkward silence and wonder, Now What??  I want to spend these years growing with my husband and making each other better.  I want to look forward to seeing him every day.  And what I have to keep reminding myself is that our boys will benefit from us having a happy, healthy, intimate marriage.  I want them to see love first hand.  I want them to see that Garrett and I are important to each other and that we make time for each other.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of Garrett and I, being goofy or just being us:


I think one of the biggest mistakes us women make is clinging to our friends when our marriage hits a rough spot.  Girl time is always fun but constant venting to our friends about our husband's flaws and a lot of girls' nights out are not the answer, in my opinion and experience.  Instead of putting so much time and energy into our friends why don't we reinvest that time and energy into our marriage?  I don't think you will be disappointed with the result.

Some funnies for you...



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