Losing

This song, "Losing" by Tenth Avenue North, is from 2010 but I'm just now hearing it and it is my new favorite song.  My favorite part is the bridge (around the 2:15 mark).

This song speaks to me in so many ways.  I feel like I get so caught up in being right all the time.  When I feel like I'm living my life for God and doing the right things I struggle dealing with people in the world who aren't.  I get so angry seeing the violence, the senselessness, the lack of respect and disregard for human life, the way that evil and sin become justified in this modern world.  I get so caught up in hating all of these things (and unfortunately the people that go with these things) that I end up losing and being in the wrong. 

I have written before about learning to hate the sin and love the sinner.  I have written about how forgiving others sets us free (even when they aren't sorry).  I have written about how loving someone does not mean you are condoning their behavior.  This has been such a learning process for me.  I have to constantly remind myself that God gives me grace and forgives me for my wrongdoings so why is it sometimes so hard for me to have grace and forgive others for theirs? 

This is love, this is hate...
We all have a choice to make
We do all have a choice.  We can choose to hate those that do wrong to us or love them, forgive them, free ourselves from it and move on.

'Cause Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
Though I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done.
Even when we feel like turning a blind eye (which can feel like condoning someone's actions) doesn't feel right we have to realize that it is nothing compared to what Jesus did for us and still does for us.  His grace and mercy have no limit for me and my sins so why should my grace toward someone else have limits?

I am slowly but surely getting to the point where I feel like I can love the unlovable and forgive the unforgivable.  I can love like He loves me.  That is what He wants us to do and I can see why.  When I love the unlovable and accept someone for who they are and where they are in their life I feel an incredible sense of freedom and peace.  Harboring anger, hurt and bitterness destroys not only me but everyone around me.  It is like putting poison into my environment. 

I will continue to pray:
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'


~Jewels*