What is the number one thing women are known for doing when we get mad? I can sum it up in one word ~ silence. If you are married I can guarantee this has been a conversation in your household at some point.
Husband: "What's wrong?"
Wife: "Nothing"... accompanied by the dirty look of course.
Have you ever been mad at God? I have. And sadly my first reaction toward God is also silence. I stop reading His word (ahem, if I'm even currently reading it), I may stop going to church for a while and I stop talking to him a.k.a. praying. I have no idea why I do this. Maybe I'm trying to show Him I'm mad, just like I try to show Garrett sometimes. Maybe I just don't want to deal with the pain and the "why me's". So I just shut down.
Garrett and I have had to work extremely hard at our marriage. I remember one of the low points where I just kept asking God why. Why is this so hard? Why am I always the one apologizing when I know I did nothing wrong? Why am I stuck here? Why are you doing this to me? What did I do wrong? Why can't we just be happy? Why is divorce wrong when it will make everything easier?
It is so easy to be mad at God when things aren't going our way, just like a divorce would have been so easy when things got hard with Garrett. But guess what?! God can handle it. He's a BIG God and he can take on all of my problems...and yours...and hers...and his. He can take it!
I have learned to not be afraid to let God know when I am angry. I am not afraid to feel emotional pain sometimes because I know that if I come to him with a heavy and honest heart He will give me comfort and peace. Notice I didn't say He will fix everything the way I want Him to. He knows what we need and when we need it. He knows our hearts and He knows our pain. When I feel pain for myself or someone else (which can be worse) I think of the pain Jesus went through on the cross for us. I know people always say that, but have you really thought about it? He went through immense pain and torture for you. He knows pain. He knows what it's like to feel alone and abandoned.
All of us will go through hard times in our lives, some much harder than others. My friend sent me a devotional that has some awesome tips for what we can do when we feel angry with God. I am listing those below with some of my own comments. I encourage you to follow her advice:
Press into God when you want to pull away.
Get lost in His word, spend time in prayer, be honest with Him and tell Him what you need.
Praise God out loud when you want to get lost in complaints.
I always remember my Grandma telling me that if she hurts herself she literally says (out loud) "Praise Jesus...Thank you Jesus". I laughed so hard the first time I heard her say that but it's so powerful. Even in our pain we should be praising Him.
Put yourself in the company of truth.
Venting and complaining to negative people will likely result in increased anger. This will push you further from God and His blesings for you. Surround yourself with beleivers who will encourage you to seek His will, comfort and peace.
If you are dealing with pain or anger toward God right now I encourage you to "take it to the cross". Lay your problems, sorrows, anger and pain at His feet. I promise you will be blessed because of it.