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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Comparing and Judging

Okay moms... we are ALL guilty of comparing ourselves to other moms which usually leads to judging other moms, probably to make ourselves feel better.  Why do we do this?

I am guilty, guilty, guilty.  There is this mom who picks her kid up from Garrison's school every single day at school wearing her tight workout clothes.  See how I did that?  There was no need to put the word "tight" in there but I chose not to take it out because I take little jabs without even meaning to.  She is so cute and fit bouncing up to the front of the school as if she has loads of energy to spare and here I come in my frumpy work clothes balancing E on my hip yawning and wondering how I'm going to stay awake until bedtime.  If I was being honest with myself I'm sure that is not how others see me, but it is how I sometimes feel.  I feel a huge stab of jealousy.  Why can't I stay home and take Ethan to MDO a few days a week so I can work out with my personal trainer?  I don't even know if this lady has a personal trainer or childcare for her youngest.  Maybe she jogs around the block with her youngest and then does a workout DVD while he is taking a nap.  As opposed to me who would be catching up on the latest episode of the Bachelor, writing out my grocery list, planning our weekly meals and then napping when my kid naps. 

My point is we all do it.  We all compare ourselves and then we all, even when we don't want to or don't realize we are doing it, judge each other.  How long is it going to take us to realize we are not all the same?  We <should have> discovered this in high school.  And maybe we did all come to the realization that we are all different as individuals and have come to respect other women in our lives for their qualities that are different from our own.  So why is it that we still compare ourselves as wives and mothers?

We all have different passions.  The hot mama at the school may be super passionate about exercise and nutrition.  I on the other hand and super passionate about food.  Just kidding, kind of.  But I really do love to cook.  It relaxes me and it is one of the ways I choose to serve my family, especially my husband.  Maybe we look at other moms and wish we could throw Pinterest worthy parties for our kids or be there at the school to volunteer for every class party and be the supporting mom at every single school day assembly.  But maybe that's not realistic for you.

I have learned that I can't look to other women to decide what kind of wife and mom I want to be.  I have to look at myself, the gifts God has given me, the needs of my husband and my children and decide what kind of wife and mom I want to be. 

There is nothing wrong with a woman who enjoys working full time and admits she cannot be with her kids 24/7.  There is nothing wrong with a woman who may not be making the smartest financial decision by working part time to earn money for the family but also spend more time with the kids.  There is nothing wrong with a woman who decides to stay home and homeschool her kids because they learn better in a one on one environment.  There is nothing wrong with a woman who picks up takeout every night on her way home from work.  There is nothing wrong with a woman who cooks gourmet meals for her family every night.  There is nothing wrong with a woman who stays up until 2 am cleaning her house because if she lived in filth she would feel completely out of control.  There is nothing wrong with a woman who lets the clutter build up and chooses to spend her free time with her kids or husband as opposed to worrying about the state of the house.


I encourage y'all today to be the best woman, wife and mom YOU can be.  Build fellow women up and support them.  Write a list of all your good qualities and recognize your value and worth as an individual, wife and mom.  God has given every single one of us gifts and we need to learn to enhance our own gifts rather than trying to mimic someone else's.


1 comment:

  1. Well said! Being a mom looks different on every mom and we have to embrace each other because we doing God's work.