I frequently laugh at a memory from when you were about 4 years old. I dropped you off at daycare one morning and you sat in your little chair at a table with your classmates. The little girl across from you looked up at me and said, "I got donuts!" She sounded like an ogre or a cavewoman but maybe that's just my biased memory. I smiled at her and then she looked at the girl next to her and said loudly, "Don't be his friend today!" Until that moment I never thought it was possible to have such animosity toward a child. My smile turned into a grimace and Mama Bear came out. I glared at the cavegirl and sternly said, "Hey! Maybe I'll tell her not to be your friend today?" She just started at me with donut on her face. "That's what I thought," I said. I hugged you goodbye and walked out of that door. I'll admit now that wasn't my most shining moment but dang did it feel good!
"As as mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you." - Isaiah 66:13
I have always felt completely capable of loving others deeply but nothing prepared me for the love I would feel for you. Oftentimes I would find myself just watching you sleep and listening to the sound of your soft breathing. You could be doing the simplest, most mundane activity like breathing and it filled me with wonder and awe. I used to sway side to side while holding you. To this day I randomly find myself swaying side to side for no reason at all. Even when you aren't physically with me, you are. That is something that brings me comfort as I try to imagine dropping you off at college in less than a year. You will not physically be with me but you will always, always, always be a part of me. And I will always be a part of you. No amount of distance, time or life circumstances will change that.
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