Senior Year Series: Big Brother

You begged us for a little brother since you were around 3 years old.  I always knew you would be the best big brother.  Everyone says that about their first born but I believed it deep down to my core.  Your kind heart, selflessness, empathy for others and strong leadership tendencies showed me that you were born for this job.  Giving you a brother took a lot longer than we thought.  And what I had pictured (you watching my growing belly and finally meeting your little brother for the first time in the hospital) did not turn out at all like I had envisioned.  We say this to y'all and so many others all the time though - God's plans were always SO much better than ours.  When we told you we were going to adopt Ethan you were so excited.  You couldn't wait to meet him!  I hated that you had to watch Dad and I go to the hospital for all of those weeks and you were never able to go meet him since you were not old enough to go in the NICU.  But, as always, you were such a trooper.  You loved looking at pictures of him and helping to prep things at home for him.  

The day we brought him home was one of the most precious days of my life.  I will never forget watching you lay eyes on him for the first time.  Your emotions were palpable - overwhelming and unconditional love.

Now let's keep it real...you haven't always been an angelic big brother.  Just like he hasn't always been an innocent younger brother.  You had your moments, just like we all do.  But you have continued to gain my admiration and respect over the years for the love, kindness and protection you continuously show to Ethan.  You were never, ever too cool to play with him.  You truly are incredible, Garrison!  Ethan is so blessed to have you by his side.  Friends come and go but you will be brothers forever.  Please don't ever forget that.  Don't ever let anything or anyone come between y'all.  Love him well and look out for him always.  I know you will.  

These are just a few of my favorites of y'all over the years. 

 

"Some people don't believe in heroes.  But they haven't met my brother." -Unknown

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." - Proverbs 17:17

I love you.  

-Mom

Senior Year Series: Heart Transporting

The love of a mom is vastly different than any other kind of love.  I never fully understood this until you made me a mama.  I have heard many describe motherhood as their heart expanding.  I think I would say it is more like heart transporting.  It is seeing a piece of your heart in human form - a heart that smiles up at you, sheds tears and seeks comfort in your arms.  Nobody ever warned me there is also a desperate need to protect that heart with every fiber of your being. 

I frequently laugh at a memory from when you were about 4 years old.  I dropped you off at daycare one morning and you sat in your little chair at a table with your classmates.  The little girl across from you looked up at me and said, "I got donuts!"  She sounded like an ogre or a cavewoman but maybe that's just my biased memory.  I smiled at her and then she looked at the girl next to her and said loudly, "Don't be his friend today!"  Until that moment I never thought it was possible to have such animosity toward a child.  My smile turned into a grimace and Mama Bear came out.  I glared at the cavegirl and sternly said, "Hey!  Maybe I'll tell her not to be your friend today?"  She just started at me with donut on her face.  "That's what I thought," I said.  I hugged you goodbye and walked out of that door.  I'll admit now that wasn't my most shining moment but dang did it feel good!

I have always felt completely capable of loving others deeply but nothing prepared me for the love I would feel for you.  Oftentimes I would find myself just watching you sleep and listening to the sound of your soft breathing.  You could be doing the simplest, most mundane activity like breathing and it filled me with wonder and awe.  I used to sway side to side while holding you.  To this day I randomly find myself swaying side to side for no reason at all.  Even when you aren't physically with me, you are.  That is something that brings me comfort as I try to imagine dropping you off at college in less than a year.  You will not physically be with me but you will always, always, always be a part of me.  And I will always be a part of you.  No amount of distance, time or life circumstances will change that.

"As as mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you."  - Isaiah 66:13